Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
