I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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