i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
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