my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
