Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
