butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
