Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
