census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
So vagazzling was a success
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Randomize
