Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
And my parents said I crawled through the house
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
