If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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