I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
