This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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