Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
