My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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