Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
