Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
