ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
