Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
