im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
