we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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