I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
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