if you like me you must not know who I am
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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