At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
