LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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