That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
