wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
