Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
