PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
