Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
