the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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