Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
