Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
