are you so shy because you have an std?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I had to cum in my sink.
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