Sry I called you an 8
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize