Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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