that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She announced her abortion via fbk
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
two words: eviction party
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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