Yo dont text me then not text me
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
