so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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