pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize