Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
