Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
