the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
