yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
