he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
