Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
