real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
