NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
