I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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