I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
