it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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