i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
