dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
