dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The struggles of a small town man whore
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I love you.
Bad choice
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
